My Name is Toni
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My name is Toni. I am an addict. I started using meth when I was 16. I have been sober since I was 27. I am 32 now. I didn’t come from a horrible family. My mom and dad didn’t divorce. I just made bad choices. I wasn’t popular in school but I wasn’t a loner either. I just got mixed in the wrong crowd.
I saw a commercial that made me realize maybe I can help someone. So here’s my story. I was partying like no other, drinking taking pills and anything else you could think of. I fell in over my head for a guy. Of course us girls know there’s always a guy. Well he was the worst, at the time the best. So I thought.
I started running away. My big sister, poor thing, always searching for me. He and I did everything together. I was young and thought he was “the one”. I started using with him. I got pregnant. I had my first abortion 2 days before my 17th birthday. Depression got worse and my drug habit got even worse. I ended up 18 with a kid.
I quit school and used even more. I then got raped at 19 and had another abortion. I had another kid at 21. Then using was the only thing I could do to escape the depression. I moved away to get better, so I went to Montana and fell in with the wrong crowd again. I started using again. I lost my kids due to my using.
The depression got worse and again the using did too. One night I was drunk and a guy handed me a bus ticket back home. Even though I knew no one was there again I went. I ended up at a homeless shelter where the bad crowd found me again. For a year and a half my family thought I was dead.
They knew if I was in jail I was safe. they couldn’t get that lucky. Then one day me and the guy were fighting and it got real bad. So I went to my mom and dad and got my life together. I can’t escape the depression and the only thing I can do is fix it.
It is a work in progress but my life is worth it. I know it’s hard but the only person you can save is yourself. I went to rehab and finished it. It’s not what saved me. My family’s forgiveness is.
I may not have my kids but I know they know I love them. I am not a millionaire but I have my life. You just need to remember if you want your life back then take it. 5 yrs later I celebrated my birthday sober and happy.