Moderation Management – Alternatives to Total Abstinence
Have You Ever Heard of Moderation Management?
Moderation management (MM) is something that not a lot of people seem to talk about. Many people have only ever heard of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program, which operates on the principle of 100% abstinence. Abstinence works for a lot of people, but that does not mean that it works for everyone or that it is the only way to help yourself when you realize that your drinking has become a problem. People need to know that there are other options than AA meetings/12 step programs and 100% abstinence.
Moderation Management was created as an alternative to alcoholics anonymous, hoping that people could recognize that their drinking is a problem and get the help they need, without having to be labeled an alcoholic and without having to abstain from drinking. Moderation Management has certain steps and guidelines that people follow, just like in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 step meetings. However, these steps are more of a suggestion than a requirement like they are in AA meetings. The goal is to reduce the amount of alcohol a person drinks and make positive lifestyle changes in general.
So What's Wrong With MM?
Many people are vehemently opposed to moderation management because they think it doesn’t work or can be dangerous. This can definitely be true. However, it can also be harmful to tell someone that the only way they can get and stay sober is by being a part of a 12 step group and attending meetings for the rest of their lives. Many people don’t feel like AA works for them, and it’s better to have other options.
For some people, trying to drink in moderation may eventually lead them into AA if they realize they cannot drink at all. For others, moderation management works for them. It’s also possible that some people going through difficult times in their lives might be problem drinkers who can use moderation management tools as a crux until they can get things back on track. I don’t think we should be telling people that AA is the only way to stay sober.
We should be telling people that whatever works, works. If someone can drink moderately or socially, we shouldn’t shame them for that. We want people to be healthy and to stay alive – sometimes moderation management works for this. And sometimes people start out with moderation management and then realize that abstinence is what works for them.
Moderation Management currently offers face-to-face meetings, video and phone meetings, chats, and private online support communities. Additionally, MM makes it clear that they support members who are also seeking abstinence.
What if Moderation Management doesn't feel right, but neither does AA/NA?
For some people, AA doesn’t feel right, but neither does moderation management. What do you do if you don’t feel like you can drink at all but don’t feel like AA is the right place? You do whatever works. Finding other healthy coping skills is really important. Once I was clean for a few years and realized that AA wasn’t the place for me, I needed to find other ways to promote my recovery. It was really important to feel good about myself and what I was doing with my life. This meant going to school, spending time with family, exercising, being honest, and just doing the next right thing. This is definitely part of what they preach in AA, but I didn’t always need to go to meetings to achieve these things.
Right now, I just do what works. I finished school, got a job, I’m in a healthy relationship, I spend time with my family, and I do my best to be a good person. I exercise, read, play soccer, go to therapy, and watch a lot of TV. I have a good work/life balance and try to do things that make me happy instead of doing things just because I feel like I am supposed to be doing them. For me, that works. Maybe not always, but for now, I am happy with the way things are in my life.