Addiction Recovery

I remember life before I met you
I felt out of place, never knowing what to do
I had a lot of friends, excelling in school and athletics
But inside, I still felt somewhat pathetic
I felt empty, like nothing was enough

I tried to be the best person I could be
But something inside just wouldn’t let me
When I first found you, in all of your forms
Cocaine, alcohol, heroin, pills 
It didn’t matter what – they all became the norm
From the first drink and first drug,I fell in love .

Like my life had been changed in a serious way

In the beginning it was fun, no consequences followed
By the end it was hell, I became a shell that was hollowed
A shell of a person, no heart and no soul
A mindless drug addict, the next fix my only goal
The high was fleeting, yet still so intriguing

As time went on, the disease progressed
It went from fun to blackouts to overdoses and arrests
I don’t know what happened but one day I’d had it
The pain and the consequences became too much to bear
It became a matter of life and death,
and this disease does not play fair

I lost a lot of material things,
but compared to my shame and guilt that was nothing
I shouldn’t say lost – I gave it all away
The disease does not discriminate, it will take more each day

When I finally asked for help, and was willing to accept it
I found a new way of life, my health and happiness no longer neglected
I got my life back, things I never knew possible
I went back to school, made new friends, reconnected with my family

I no longer have to live in the grips of insanity

My life isn’t perfect, I don’t even know what that word means
But my life is fulfilling, no longer falling apart at the seams
It’s real, and I actually feel,
instead of numbing the pain I allow myself to heal