More Addiction Questions & Answers
Q: Is a Sponsor mandatory in a 12 step program such as NA or AA? Why is a sponsor important?
A sponsor is not a mandatory part of 12 step meetings. Technically there is nothing mandatory in these programs. It is, however, highly recommended to get a sponsor as soon as possible. The idea is if we follow the suggestions of the 12 step program, we will stay sober. Having a sponsor will allow you to work the 12 steps. Since it is a 12 step program, it only makes sense to go through the 12 steps. And in order to do this, it is wise to have someone experienced to take you through them.
Having/getting a sponsor can be hard. At first it can be a little uncomfortable, but I would highly recommend it. It’s important to find someone you connect with and someone you can trust. This can be hard but it will be worth it. Committing to a 12 step sponsor does not have to be a long term commitment…if you feel like you’re not connecting with your sponsor, you can always find a new one. The most important thing is to be open minded and completely honest with yourself and with your 12 step sponsor.
If going to 12 step meetings helps you stay sober but you don’t want a sponsor or don’t want to go through the steps, that is also okay! DO WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU!
Q: Do alanon meetings include drug dependencies?
Al-anon meetings are specifically for family members and loved ones of someone who is an alcoholic. Technically this does not include other drugs. That being said, alcohol IS a drug. A parent or friend of an alcoholic is extremely likely to be going through a very similar situation as a parent or friend of a drug addict. Whether the drug of choice is alcohol or another type of drug, these meetings tend to focus more on the feelings and trying to deal with the situation at hand, and less on the actual drug of choice.
You can try some al-anon meetings and see if you can connect with the people there. You may find them very helpful. If not, you can try a Nar-anon meeting which is specifically for family members and loved ones who have a drug addict in the family.
My feeling is that drug addiction and alcoholism are so similar that it doesn’t matter too much which meeting you attend. Regardless of the meeting, the hope is that you will learn coping mechanisms and find other people you can relate to and connect with. I would recommend trying many different types of meetings, al-anon and nar-anon, and attend whichever meetings you find most helpful.
Q: This is my 1st week clean from cocaine – does it get any easier?
Early sobriety is one of the most difficult things that I have experienced. It’s incredibly hard to adjust to a life without any substances, but I can promise you it gets easier. In my experience, 12 step meetings (Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous) have helped a tremendous amount. During the first week or two, a person might experience withdrawal symptoms and severe cravings, but attending meetings and talking about how you feel can help a lot.
Q: Can you be addicted to AA/NA?
Technically, I believe you could become addicted to anything. That being said, many people believe that AA (alcoholics anonymous) meetings are essential to stay sober. In early sobriety, I believe it is important to attend as many AA meetings as possible.
It is also important to try to connect with people and start to build healthy relationships with other sober people. Sure, it is also important to have some balance in your life. There are almost always other responsibilities in your life that you need to take care of, whether it be school, work, or family. But I do believe that sobriety needs to come first, otherwise you won’t be able to have any of these other things in your life.
Once you have some more time sober, the hope is that you will be able to balance your life better and make time for other things aside from meetings. In early sobriety, it is normal that someone might seem ‘addicted’ to AA meetings, but in my opinion this isn’t a bad thing
Q: Alcoholic Sobriety Dating??
When someone gets sober, dating can be a very scary thing. Alcohol is a great social lubricant for some people, and without it, it might seem difficult to connect with someone.
In my experience, relationships only get better once you remove the alcohol. You will actually remember what happened on your date! I haven’t exactly had any experience with sober dating because when I got clean and sober I was already married. However, there was definitely some adjusting to do for both me and my husband. I know that’s not the same as trying to go out and meet someone new, which can be scary.
Many people would suggest not getting into any kind of romantic relationship for the first year of your sobriety. This might seem like a long time, but the idea is to take care of yourself and connect with people on a more platonic level in the beginning of your sobriety. This isn’t to say that everyone waits a year – the truth is that many people do not. But trying to deal with staying sober and with a new relationship at the same time can be very difficult
Q: What does an addict do after sobriety?
A lot of people are afraid to get sober because they believe that once they do, they won’t have a social life anymore. A lot of addicts and alcoholics are accustomed to going out and drinking in bars, being around people, and having a very chaotic life.
This is true to an extent, but generally speaking, toward the end of addiction, the addicts begin to isolate and don’t really have a social life anymore. This isn’t true for everyone but it was definitely true for me. I started drinking alone, using alone, and skipping out on social events because I would rather drink or use excessively. I was irritated by everyone and everything, and I wanted to be left alone to do as I pleased.
What this means is that when I got clean and sober, I essentially got my social life back. I had already lost it due to my addiction, so I was regaining something, not losing something. Not only did I regain my social life when I got sober, but I could actually remember what I did the night before. Don’t get me wrong – regaining this aspect of my life was not easy. I had to change friends, change my social activities, and pretty much change everything I did. I could no longer hang out with the people I used to spend time with and I could no longer spend time in the same places.
I have no problem admitting that my life today is a little more boring than it used to be, but I like to replace the word boring with the word peaceful. I go out to dinner, go to the movies, go on vacation, work out, read, write, and a lot of other things. Since it’s the winter time, I have been going snowboarding. During the summer, I go to the beach a lot. Sometimes I just get together with people and hang out, or go out for coffee. In a few weeks I will be going on vacation, and I am doing all of these things without drinking or using. There are endless things to do. Sometimes it can be difficult and sometimes I do feel like I’m missing out on some things, but most of the time this is not the case.
Q: Is it ok to work out and do cocaine?
Working out after doing cocaine is extremely dangerous. Cocaine will raise your blood pressure drastically and working out will make it even higher. It is possible to have heart attacks, strokes, and even die when you use cocaine during a work out.
I am definitely not a stranger to this. I used to think that using cocaine and other stimulants made my work out performance better; it made me a better athlete. None of this is true. It is incredibly dangerous, and to be perfectly honest, I feel a whole lot better about myself after working out sober. It clears my head and relaxes me. I don’t feel jittery, or anxious. I don’t crash afterward the way I would if I were using drugs. I can’t stress enough how dangerous it is to use cocaine during a work out.
Q: Are People In Narcotics Anonymous Not Supposed To Drink?
People who are attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and are trying to stay clean are not supposed to drink alcohol. Sure, there are no ‘rules’ per se in NA or AA, but Narcotics Anonymous makes it very clear that they consider alcohol a drug and that substance abuse includes alcohol and drugs. In the beginning of the meeting, there are a couple of passages read aloud, and one of them states very clearly that alcohol is a drug and believing otherwise has caused many addicts to go back out and relapse.
Whether you are an alcoholic or an addict, all drugs are essentially the same. Even if a person has never had a severe drinking problem, alcohol will usually lead a person back to their drug of choice. Alcohol impairs your judgment, so after a few drinks, you may not be able to stop yourself from putting other substances in your body.
I cannot tell anyone what to do and how to stay ‘clean’ or work a program, but it for most people, trying to distinguish between drugs and alcohol is very dangerous. Again, only YOU can decide what substances you are going to use or not use, but if you are trying to work a 12 step program through Narcotics Anonymous, it is very clear that alcohol is considered a drug and should be abstained from. If you can’t stop drinking alcohol, NA meetings can help.
Q: When speaking in alcoholics anonymous meetings (12-step NA meeting or AA meeting), what am I supposed to say?
When you attend a 12-step meeting, there is no rule that says you must speak at the meeting. In my experience, though, it wasn’t until I began putting my hand up and sharing with people that I was able to really benefit from meetings.
It is great to be in Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings – sometimes just being there can get us one more day clean and sober. However, if you are not putting 100% into the meetings, you may not find them as helpful as you could if you were to share in the meeting or talk to people before or after the meeting.
When you share, there is nothing that you are “supposed” to say or not say. Sometimes it can just be good to start sharing, even if it’s about nothing, just to get in the habit of sharing. Even if it’s just to raise your hand and say your name and how you’re doing that day. Let people know how you’re doing, what you’re struggling with, or what you might need help with. Getting in the habit of sharing in meetings can be really helpful in case something more urgent comes up that you need help with. This way you won’t be afraid to put your hand up and ask for help.
It took me a long time to put my hand in the air and share at an AA meeting, but once I did it the first time, it got easier. I get really nervous speaking in front of people, but it helps to remember why I am at the meeting. I am there to stay sober and to maybe help someone else get another day sober. Simply raising your hand and sharing what you are thinking about can help you and someone else.
If you are at a speaker meeting, try to relate with the speaker and share about something they said. If you are at a big book meeting or a step meeting, try to relate to what the literature says and share about that. No matter what you say, no one is going to think it is stupid and no one is going to judge you. The more you get comfortable sharing in meetings, the more you will get out of these meetings and will be able to help yourself and other people.
Just remember that there is nothing right or wrong that you can say in a meeting.