self destruction

By Angel, from Rossville, GA

I am an addict. I started taking pills and drinking at 13. I had my first kid at 16 and stopped drinking but kept doing pills. My doctor gave me Valium, Perocet and stadol at the age of 18. I was using a bottle of stadol every 2 days, taking 10-15 Valium each day, and 25 Perocets. I work and have always worked, and I took care of my kids, but my drug addiction has gotten worse.

I am smoking a gram of ice each day plus pills. I get so sick if I don’t have something. I use to be able to go without getting fucked up a day or two but I now, I have to have something everyday. It’s getting out of hand. I’m 41 now and I’m spending money and going without food and lights and maintenance on my car.

I have lost my license and been in jail. I could have had my licenses back a year ago but I’m spending the money on my habit instead. I am now on ice, roxies, Oxycotin, Perocet, cocaine and drinking. My friends and family don’t know. I have had my friends take me to my dealers house, but I lie and tell them I’m looking at a car or furniture.

I even took my daughter with me stating that I had to help my friend get his sick mom in bed. She was sittin in the car while I was in the house smoking meth and snorting roxies. I know I need help but I’m just not ready to quit yet. If I don’t have my fix I cannot get out of bed.