From Cocktails to Mocktails: My Break-Up with Alcohol

by Elizabeth, from Kilgore

The party is over. We have had fun and it has been quite a ride. Like all great relationships, you have been with me through thick and thin. You have been in my life for over 40 years. You have been with me since I was 15, and I am now 56. It’s just not the same anymore. I have changed and just need something new. Something more than this one-sided relationship where you have taken so much from me.

I remember when we first started out at 14. We would get together after mom and dad left the house and share a laugh, a cry…mostly a good cry. You see, I was having a hard time when we met. Being a teen was tough. I was in a new school, I felt awkward and never felt like I fit in. There were also family problems and things were in turmoil. You were there to help me through…or so I thought.

You showed yourself early on to be a bad influence in my life. A force that had such a power over me. I let you pull me in over and over again. I was literally seduced by you. Your bubbly personality sparkling in a pretty stemmed pedestal is truly a sight to behold! That intoxicating aroma of fruit filling my senses easily drew me in. You warmed me from the inside and made me feel beautiful, sexy, confident and invincible! All an illusion that crashed down hard after we parted. Still, I came back for more.

You and I have shared many memorable times. Let me recap our most indelible moments in time.

– You were there when I lost my virginity at 15. I wasn’t ready, oh no, far from it. You talked me into it. What a tragedy. I blamed you, but came to realize that it was me who should have left you behind that night. You are such a bad influence.

– You made me get behind the wheel of my car after a night of drinking and rear end my best friend, who was in the car in front of me leading the way to the coffee shop. We were going there after hours so I could sober up before going home. Thankfully, there was no damage, but all I could do was laugh, oblivious to the danger I could have caused.

– You were with me when I side-swiped a parked truck, nearly causing bodily harm to my innocent passenger. I literally killed my car and barely made it home with a blown out tire and broken radiator. My car was in repair for a solid month. That was 24 years ago and I still shudder at the thought of that night. I should have broken it off with you then…but you promised to be good to me.

– You were there cheering me on during the many unprotected sexual encounters I had before I got married. Men I would have never been with if you had not influenced me. One night stands that are too numerous to count, and too fuzzy in my memory to even recollect.

– While working as a cocktail waitress, you were by my side, always easing the boredom on those long nights. It was on those nights that I found myself being the most outrageous. You coaxed me out of my shell in my 30’s and made me feel invincible! It was my crazy teens all over again. It is ironic that the club that I worked in as a waitress in the 90’s was the same one I used to sneak into in the 80’s, drinking underage. I cringe at the times when I remember of how sick you made me. I do not like your friend Mr. Jaegermeister.